Thursday, February 18, 2010

Curious Georges' Survival Tips for First Year N00bs

So you survived school and all exciting dullness that goes along with it: homework, chumps who just make Geography all the more harder to sleep through, the 9-to-3 drudge of life. But hurrah no worries no more right? You’ve made it into Uni and you are ready to party/sleep/whore your way through a few years and BOOM you’ve got a degree right?

Well aside from a few STDs and maybe waking up in the Waitakere ranges a few times, yeah that sounds about pretty dead on.

In all seriousness though, your upcoming years at Auckland Uni are going to be some of your best and you will remember them for the rest of your life whether you like it or not.

You will always remember when you enquired about the upcoming verbal French test before realising you were in a Civil Engineering lecture, and your friends will remember that time you fell down the stairs after a few too many jugs at Shads that time. 21st fodder right there.

You will also remember seeing great bands at O-Week such as Minuit, The Checks and ol’ King Kapisi (all for FREE!) as well as taking part in the Shadows’ pub quiz. The same goes for getting into the Uni lifestyle by joining up with Bfm and getting all their sweet as bCard deals, cos you like free/cheap stuff right?
But aside from these upcoming moments in your university career there will be some pretty trying times.

Ask around and you’ll surely hear tales of people winging their way through a test they didn’t study for, or starting a 40% essay the day before it’s due and still getting a B+. Makes uni sound pretty breezy right? True. But for those of us who have tried this it really involves about 3 litres of Lift Plus, a truck load of sugar and a computer that doesn’t crap itself just as you’re submitting your essay. In short: yeah it is possible to fluke this shit off, but fuck it sucks doing it.

Basically what this primate is saying to all you plucky first years is: have fun at Uni, but don’t be an arse and think you can out-drink or out-think a seasoned Auckland Uni veteran – these are a hardy bunch and they will make you work for their respect.